Caesar, what I am about to give you is the formula to happiness and sustenance. If, for whatever reason, I can no longer perform my duties you will be responsible. This task should be repeated no later than 7am and preferably between 5:30 and 6:15am.
Step 1) climb either onto the bed or stand within 1 foot of the head of the bed.
Step 2) state the following:
AreYouAwakeYet? I'mHungry. Can you feed me?AreYouAwakeYet?I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. AreYouAwakeYet?Can you feed me?Can you feed me?I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry. I'mHungry.
Step 3) Navigate shootings from water bottles and hands to your face
Step 4) Repeat step 2 until mission is accomplished. This can take anywhere from 5 minutes to over 60 so it's best to start as early as possible.
good luck. may the force be with you.